Monday, December 12, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Pain
Maybe it's because just a couple of months ago I plunged my hand into just-boiled water (forgetting it hadn't cooled yet) to grab a spoon and I remember VIVIDLY the ensuing half an hour of pain, crying and thinking I might just die that I felt Lincoln's pain so keenly. Maybe it's because I'm super-sensitive and emotional anyway. Maybe it's because I'm a mom, and I probably love my boys so much that my heart aches every day that I have to be at work away from them.
Regardless of the reason, it was all I could do to keep from freaking out as well. I didn't--I stayed stoic and as calm as possible, trying to sooth him and get him to calm down enough to be coherent. It seemed like he wailed forever, but he eventually calmed down and was able to eat, although he had a difficult time eating left-handed while keeping his right hand in a bowl of cold water!
He would occasionally start wailing again when burning in his finger flared , but would calm down after I hugged and kissed on him for a few minutes. It was after supper, when he thought about taking his finger out of the water so George could bandage it that he really melted down.
Eventually we got the bandaging done (it involved bribery with a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup) and even more hugs and Link determined he wasn't going to die, but would, in fact, be OK. Even after both boys were in bed, I didn't have a meltdown--I wanted to, but who has the time when there are eight thousand other things to be done???
But oh, my gosh. I feel Lincoln's pain so keenly that I can't imagine how I can go through years and years of watching my boys hurt, physically and emotionally. I'm just not strong enough for that! I've managed to get pretty stoic about my own pain, but theirs? It cuts me more than anything else in the world. I'm not sure I have the strengh to watch them get hurt, make mistakes, fall down and screw up over and over in the coming years; I'm just not that strong.
It was an exhausting, emotional night, and that was just a little burn on one finger! Imagine if it had been something worse...except, no, I can't start imagining worse because I WILL break down. All of the dangers, problems, temptations and evil in the world make my head spin, and if I think about it, Lincoln and Jackson will never leave the house!
Miss Kathy, my old Sunday School teacher, commented on Facebook that God starts mothers out comforting and healing the little hurts to ease us in to comforting the healing the bigger hurts that are down the road. She is so wise, and that totally makes sense.
Still. I'm not sure I can handle the big hurts.
Are you listening, God? Charmed, safe, full lives for my children, would be GREAT.
I know this is every mother's prayer. I know every mother hurts almost beyond words when her children hurt. I know my love for the boys is not in any way unique. It's just that this is the first time I've really experienced such major pain in one of my kids (colds and skinned knees don't have the same effect!). Lincoln is fine--he is already recovering and will be fascinated when the blister falls off. He'll forget about it completely in a few months, although let's hope he doesn't forget the lesson of never touching a hot surface.
But learning lessons is painful, and I never realized how painful it would be for me as well as my boys.
Still, I wouldn't trade being a mommy for anything.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
5 months old!
He weighs about 16 pounds, according to the "weigh myself, then stand
on the scale holding Jack and subtract the two numbers" method.
WHY won't this child sleep???? After sleeping 8:30 PM-4:30 AM by around 2 months, and then 8 PM-7 AM at 3 months, WHY are we back to waking every few hours at night? Why, why?
I'm not feeding him in the night; I'm not about to go backwards, and plus he doesn't need it. But he wakes up every few hours and has to have the pacifier to go back to sleep. He's still swaddled, so I thought maybe he wanted to be unswaddled to suck on his fists. Well, one arm out makes no difference, and unswaddled completely is just a nightmare.
I moved the swing up to his room, but it doesn't help him stay asleep for naps, so I haven't even tried it at night. I. AM. EXHAUSTED. Because guess who it is who gets up every few hours when Jack cries to stick the paci back in his mouth? IT AIN'T GEORGE!
Jack's naps have been short (30-45 minutes) since I stopped putting him in the swing to nap around 1.5 months. So really, we have 2 sleep problems: night and naps.
Teething is having an effect, I know, because the poor kid gnaws my finger off and chews on anything he can find. Plus he's a waterfall of drool every second of every day. No sign of teeth yet. PLEASE, God, let the teeth break through!
I'm going to start Jack on cereal this weekend and am praying that it helps him sleep. Again, PLEASE God!
It's hard to get a decent picture of Lincoln and Jackson together--this is usually what we end up with. :)
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Happy Halloween!
Jack was a tiger because that's the costume we had from Lincoln's first Halloween (only it fit him a lot better than Lincoln 2 years ago, probably because he's 5 months younger than Lincoln was and the costume size was mislabeled!)
We went to Trunk or Treat at church on Sunday night and trick-or-treating around the neighborhood on Halloween. Let me tell you, Trunk or Treat is ALOT easier than old-school trick-or-treating! I don't remember getting that worn out walking around as a kid, but then I also wasn't carrying a 16-pound baby when I was a kid, either. And I was 20 years younger.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Jack is 4 months old!
Jackson turned 4 months old on October 28. He is a happy, fun baby but has been having lots of trouble sleeping, both in naps and at night. His naps have never been great unless he was in the swing, but he's now down to only making it for 30 minutes before waking up and crying--and being next to impossible to get back to sleep.
Thankfully, his night sleep is starting to improve--just woke up twice last night, and again at 6 AM. Hopefully he made it until 7, which is his breakfast time.
The lack of sleeping at night is even harder because right about the time I came to work, he was sleeping from 8 PM to 7 AM! Even before that, he'd sleep from 8 PM to 4:30 AM and then go back to sleep until 7:30. So going back to night wakings has been even harder on us than if he had been waking up at night the entire time.
4-month dislikes:
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Fun with Jack!
Fun with Lincoln!
Friday, October 14, 2011
Pre-pregnancy weight!!
I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight!!! I've been really close for over a month, and now it's official. Of course, most of this is flab, not muscle, but I'll take what I can get--and hopefully get back to more muscle later.
I'm just so proud of myself, and so thankful. I'm proud of myself because I worked my rear end off after my 6-week checkup, going to the gym 3 times a week until I came back to work. I wanted to lose the weight, and I did, through sheer sweat and pain!
I'm thankful because it is a huge blessing from God that the weight is off. If it hadn't come off, I would have to buy more clothes that fit (but that hopefully wouldn't fit long and would thus just be a waste of money--except that I can't come to work naked), and there is no money for that right now. This was all God!
So with God and sweat, I am blessed to be fitting into almost all of my old clothes. YESSSSS!!!!!
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
3 months old!
Our baby boy weighs 14.01 pounds--a pretty big guy! I keep forgetting to measure him, so let's just say he's longer than he was a month ago. :)
Thursday, September 15, 2011
SHEESH
Jack 1-month stats
Obviously, Jack was 1 month old on July 28:
Jack's 2-month stats
At 2 months, Jack weighs 13 pounds, 7.75 ounces, and is 23.75 inches long. He is a pretty big boy! He did great with his first round of shots, only becoming slightly fussier that afternoon; it didn't last long, thankfully. His cracked collarbone (from delivery) is completely healed.